FUCK MY LIFE.

do you know how much i fucking love you ? do you know all the other r/s ive been in seems worthless and meaningless? do you know i how im pissed off right now cause i cant get my phone to work just to see if you replied my silly message !? do you know that im tearing my phone to pieces just cause i want to know you did well for you exams ?! do you know that your my everything while im your nothing ?! YOU ARE MY FUCKING INSPIRATION TO GO TO POLY YOU GET THAT ? I COULD HAVE GONE OTHER ROUTES BUT IM STICKING TO THAT PROMISE FUCK . WHY DO YOU FUCKING IGNORE ME ALL THESE WHILE ? YOU SAID WE CAN BE FRIENDS BUT FUCK THAT! YOU LIED . YOU DONT GIVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT ME . FUCK THIS . YOU IGNORE ME LIKE IM NOBODY . MAYBE I AM . MAYBE I DESERVE BUT PLEASE JUST TALK TO ME WILL YOU ?! AFTER ALL THIS WHILE YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING AND I STILL CAN ANSWER IT ALL ! ANYTHING . FUCK THIS FUUUUUCCCCK . I JUST WANT TO SEE THAT FUCKING REPLY OF YOURES WETHER YOU MADE IT TO FUCKING POLY ! FUCK I LOVE YOU WHY DONT YOU KNOW THAT. I ASKED YOU OUT NUMEROUS TIMES JUST TO MEND THINGS BUT YOU COULDNT GO OUT !? YOU DIDNT GAVE ME A CHANCE TO MEND THIS MOTHER FUCKING RELATIONSHIPS . THE BLOOD AND SWEAT I I SHED IS NOTHING COMPARED TO HOW MUCH MY HEART HURTS . DONT YOU GET IT ?! YOU WERE THE ONLY GIRL WHO WILL BE THE ONE FOR ME SHIT THIS , IF KARMA IS WILLING TO BE GOOD TO ME , ONE DAY I'LL SEE YOU OUTSIDE , I WILL BE ANOTHER PERSON AND I WILL START BEING YOUR GUY ALL OVER AGAIN EVEN IF IT MEANS LYING ABOUT MYSELF AND MY ENTIRE PAST FUCK. ALL BECAUSE OF ONE TEXT MESSAGE. FUCK THIS SHIT.

Life?

Whats life? tell me .

Today was boring . the end

Exams?

Exams


so yeah, exams are nearing , my life's flashing , hoping i can get good scores and make my parents proud . Im trying so hard to change my habit , to study till the late morning , risking my rest for studies sake and yet i still feel stupid . I still cant get maths.. i suck at it . Well i just gotta keep on trying yeah ? orals are next week and im feeling confident (: talkative english articulate like me will breeze through easily ! haha ok lets not get cocky well , imma continue my f&n coursework making it perfect , perfect in my sense of securing me the high band marks .

Love, peace , chiao

Resolutions

FUCK .



Is that all i can do? walking away? where's the old me? wheres the burning demon in me always having my back , pushing me to the limit ? has it disappeared? no its there just staying low .. i know now . It wants me to stand on my own , walking tall , head up high . Now look where i am , day 70 of training pushing hard , overcoming obstacles like they are twigs . But whats the use of pushing myself knowing i worked hard for nothing . Now i have taken it slow as N levels are nearing , as my life is playing in front of my eyes , with an unclear future ahead . Yeah i will , i'll get to the poly i want with my own resolution , i'll show you cocky bastards that everyone can succeed with that little change in resolve .

Days

Days past and i finally write on the blog which i created on impulse . i guess this will be the place i will let my feelings flow as i rather not keep them trapped inside . How i remember this blog signifies our old relationship , never had i taught i'd failed to keep a promise which led to regrets over time . Well enough of the old , in with the new . Currently sick again ..i dont know why , perhaps this is god's way of saying i have not being doing what is expected of me .. Well im not one to give up easily thus i face my obstacles head on . Thats all i guess.. hmm will make more post next time aite (:

Screwed

Life is very unpredictable .
Its all about the decisions YOU make .
Wrong ones will come back around and stab you the back whereelse right ones save you the trouble.

lost my hw . so photocopied it .
teacher come it very pissed of den vent his anger on us .
th other class nvr get scolding 3/4 their class no bring or do . bt when go in my class kanasai scold here and there ! . I first one sio .. tio sit outside dn parents called ..
well when parents home im gona be so screwed . hhas ..
but i will keep my promise to someone that i wont talk bak or fight with my dad .

well bai .

Hell is back open .

Today wake up , first thing check fone , gone msges from fren saying wan pon & first msg i read was from my ZHUUUUUZHUUUUUUU <3

well i felt sick bt went ahead wif sch ,
met my fren den bused to sch .
walk walk talk talk laugh laugh .
reach gate , tio question ARE YOU OK?!?!?!? ARE YOU FEELING WELL!?!?!
well i lied . bt i didnt feel well only until after sch ..
In school , i slept (: laugh chat smsed .
otw home tio taiji bt , lame de.
bused home, sms my zhuu again , den.. fall asleep woke up felt fcking sick.
took panadol nw mind sot sot .
& goood nite .